Or, “gender in a blender.”
Can someone give me a “duh”??
Jen Graves, of the (adults only) Seattle Stranger, has written a very long and informative essay on pregnancy, women, and men – especially the possibility of men becoming pregnant. Trust me, we have the technology.
As a matter of fact, Ms. Graves tells us that there have been over 200 ectopic, abdominal pregnancies in the last 20 years: where women (still) have had babies implant on their intestine or abdominal walls and both the babies and their mothers survived.
I am impressed that Ms. Graves calls her baby a baby (because he or she had a heatbeat – and I should write her and tell her that until 8 weeks, the child was an “embryo,” not a “fetus” – but most of us call them “babies”), no matter how wrong it might seem to others from a political correctness factor. I can identify with her wish to make permanent and public her exclusive relation ship with her “partner,” Patrick. I am so sorry that she lost her first pregnancy in the first month or so, that she mourns that baby, that people expect her (like all of us who have lost a baby before birth) to get over it and get pregnant (at least partly to replace the lost child).I hate it that her friend, Linda’s baby ,Patrick, died so young of bacterial meningitis.
She shows her love and confusion and Patrick’s incredible patience and insight by describing their conversations and text messaging over the possibility of his becoming pregnant with “her” child.
I’m seriously impressed with Patrick. Not because he considers or because he rejects the idea of having a child implanted within his abdominal cavity, taking female hormones and/or having a planned C-section. I’m impressed that he can bear the stress the whole conversation must place on his own gender identity that his “partner” wrote this article for publication and considers herself to more typically follow the pattern society expects of fathers than of women. (Yes, of course she implies that mothers are inferior and subservient to the role of motherhood.)
And I love “what if” stories.
However, the over all impression that I get – even though I want to give her all the credit I can for her grief – is that of a selfish, self-centered woman who should be neither mother or father with this attitude toward parenting. Being the polly-anna that I am – and with the deep seated belief that we humans are well suited – designed or evolved, if you will – to parent and love our children — and with my very sexist idea that women are either naturally or “nurturally” susceptible to gushing over and eventually falling in love with small humans, I’m convinced that she would have more jealousy and resentment of Patrick’s status as child-bearer than she could ever imagine.
Go read it – it’s not much longer than my post!